Struggling with some junk food

So im down to 110kg, its been a month or so since i posted, thats a steady 1kg a week.

Likely more due to the exercise on a bike i have done than diet.
I have found myself struggling to eat decent foods. Eating those small pies, sausage rolls, twisties, chips and other rubbish.

Trying to analyse why, i realize that its likely due to being bored with my diet.
Since surgery, i have gone off lamb, it makes me feel ill. Beef i struggle to eat unless its ground small, and mixed with other things (eg mince with gravy or other stuff - nachos etc) . Never been a fish eater, so im pretty much eating only chicken a lot of the time.
Boy does that get boring quick. So this week im going to try finding other alternatives and foods i can eat.

Ran out of vitamins last week, and was going to get some but forgot. By monday i was paying for it big time! couldnt get out of bed, no energy at all! Went and got them, and it still took 3 days before i was back to normal again.

Slowly but surely

Just a bland update, im doing ok, weight is slowly plodding off.

I have had times where i over eat and pay the price (usually coming from the bowels), but mostly sticking with things.

Finally off the chewable vitamins, and its much easier now because those things were disgusting after a couple weeks. Have been cycling a fair bit when i can, weather is shocker since its winter, but hopefully it will clear up some.

Down to 116kg now (heaviest was 160kg, and surgery weight was 136 )

Junk food update ....

Yesterday i had the munchies - i bought 3 packs of 15 bags of chips! ALL THE FLAVOURS!

I found i can fit it all in and over eat! omg so bad!

Gave it all away to my son today - grrr so annoyed at myself

almost 4 weeks post op! cycling, junk food, and throwing up

So i heard prior to the surgery that ill have dumping syndrome, sweats, throwing up and lots of stuff afterwards. I was terrorfied.
In saying that, nothing, i literally have had nothing other than harder foods getting stuck in the stomach , or feeling really over full of i eat too fast .... that is until yesterday.
Maybe i was being overly cautious or something ? i drank to much water the other night with my pill - too much too fast. Felt like  i was gonna theow up. I REALLY hate throwing up! so i paced the hall waiting for it to pass, walked, tried to withhold.
Eventually i hit the toilet .... to my surprise there was very little that came out, and it took 2 seconds, and i felt great afterwards. Not your usual throwing up experience!

Still avoiding harder meats, red meat is very hard to digest, but i can eat half a McDonalds kids hamburger (barely). Speaking of hamburgers, my diet is shocking! Because i can literally only eat a tiny amount of food, i can get away with eating anything that mulches up small or disolves.!
This includes chippies, popcorn chicken from KFC,  and bunches of other things! In fact, chocolate is one of the easiest things to eat! it melts in the mouth! SCARY! Need some self control thats for sure, the surgery doesn't do it!

The most i ate was yesterday, i hate 3 kiddie packets of chips ... technically it was poppa jacks, a corn chip style thing. Totalled 660 calories for the day - not cool! Usually my daily total is about 200 cals.

I suspect the munchies came because my period is due, or over due .. Also i went cycling yesterday for the first time in forever!
Rode 10km, at a good pace! i was super happy that i managed that without issue! Tons of calories burnt, really upping my game!

Goal: Going to try eating less junk food, and cycling more!

Weight loss has stagnated, despite eating about 200 calories a day most days - this is normal im told, fat seems to be still disappearing

14 days post-op

Finally onto soft foods , and of course being denied so long and my daughers 21st birthday meant i went and had Pavlova

Since Pavlova is mostly air , egg white, and sugar, it wasnt too bad, and i only ate a tiny bit. I also had some sous-vide chicken which i managed a mouthful (split into 3 smaller bits, tons of chewing etc)

Felt like i well and truely pigged out, when in fact i really didnt eat more than 200 calories all day :O

I have a pineapple fritter i couldnt fit in last night, so i had part of that for breakfast, and likely that will be lunch also. Not great food choices, but it was a 21st birthday for my daughter :)

Today i take a long bus trip, to pick up a bus we bought, so we can travel in!

Weight loss has stagnated a bit this week, only dropped 1kg all week, however i have seen fat disappear, and i sort of expected it considering how much i lost in the first week. Also feeling a lot more tired this week

9 Days post-op

Hello!

Went away for the weekend, i had no more pain from anything much since the 7 day mark, back to normal. Today is monday, and day 9 and i cycled 3.5km to work .
I got to work tired and a little dizzy (lack of calories) but otherwise fine (i did take it easy).
I have found i can eat some harder foods despite not supposed too according to dietician, so long as i chew it within an inch of its life its fine.
Just because I can, doesn't mean i am, i have only done it once or twice, when i hadn't eaten much all day and was out and about (eg a chucken nugget! single!)

I lost another 1.5kg over the weekend, making it about 6kg lost since surgery. Thats not too shabby, and im happy to maximise that as much as possible by walking.cycling and other cardio things i can do, without over-doing it.

I find a kids purree yoghurt makes a good 3 meals , and has decent liquidity and protein.

I noticed there was a special on flights to Queenstown for September which is my birthday, and i have always wanted to go, so i booked those using the Flybuy points i accumulated with paying surgery :D:D
By the time September comes, it will still have snow in Qtown, and i will be a lot slimmer so no seatbelt expander!!! :D

Menial update ...

Water weight gone, and 3kg (6lb) gone since surgery morning, which is 5 days now.

No problems eating and drinking, and not had any pain killers in ages. My tummy does hurt, but more aching and stuff from muscles and general soreness.
Food wise i have been testing myself somewhat, no lumpy stuff much, but testing if there are any food intolerance. I can safely say i can eat a tablespoon of butter chicken sauce (we dined out), teaspoon of lemon curd, jelly, 2 fries (sucked until liquid), and soup.
Mostly im just taking the soups, jelly (sugar free) and Celebrate shakes though. the weird food options are for when im out.
Been walking dogs daily, so step count is 3000 each day or so usually. I get tired easily so im taking it easy. Today the holes where they went in are itchy as buggery, i imagine thats due to healing (which is good)

frustrated that i can't do any heavy lifting which means no wood working since i can't lift half the tools around (eg thicknesser onto the bench), and bending down isnt pleasant.

Plus side, friend of mine is a nurse, and pointed out that the coverings for the holes are fully waterproof if i want to use the hot tub and that will be fine (made sure its super clean first!).

Sleeping is annoying - im a tummy sleeper, i can't really do that. :/

Heres a couple pics from the local park and dog walks

Surgery done!

So i was 160kg at my largest, and at time of surgery i was down to 136.2kg - lost a fair amount.

Lucky i did, seemed i had some adhesion from a previous surgery donating a kidney he had to get through and he would have had to switch from laparoscopic to full open surgery apparently if i hadnt.
Day after i felt like i had been kicked in the gut, but otherwise ok.

Knowing that the sooner you get up and moving, i decided as soon as i was able to i went for a walk. I made sure i regularly walked, and whilst it was annoying, boring and generally crap, i sure did heal a lot faster!  its been 48 hours since surgery and i feel almost back to normal (only i can't eat or drink much!)

Bought myself a tiny tea cup set so i can have tea/coffee and even still i only fill it halfway!

Gained a couple kg whilst in hospital, but i imagine thats likely all the fluids they pumped into me.

Now home again, and begin with the healing. I feel pretty normal currently but i imagine ill feel more tired as my body runs out of food :)

Weigh in, 1 week to go!

Since my biggest weight (160KG), i have lost 20kg today - yaay!
Since Seeing Doctors i have lost 14kg ( i had lost 6kg struggling badly due to illness).

Here is a graph from myfitnesspal

Not gonna lie, the clothes are finally starting to feel loose!  I have lots of anxiety about the surgery, and today managed to pick up the flu also making me feel even worse :/

Unfortunately despite mega weight loss im still really fat

1.5 weeks to go - stupid diet choices

I'm a little disappointed, i have made some stupid diet choices Not eating all day, or having shakes, then over eating at dinner.
Twice in a row now! I am too close to the surgery for this shit. Seriously, i need to sort that out :O

I rarely cry but ....

I admit, i had a full on breakdown today.

The last couple of days had been fantasticc, getting ready for my friends wedding with eyelashes, and hair done. My only stress was i couldnt find a dress to wear that fit and looked nice.

Went out to dinner last night, and some c%#t stole my phone !!!!!! It was secure, he couldn't do shit with it due to fingerprint lock, and remotely wiped. its the hassle of having no pphone on easter weekend when nothing is open.
Despite all that, police report done, using a tablet ith a new sim and old number
migrated over, and can pick up a new phone tomorrow if i have $250 excess.

The whole thing was just another stresser on top of other things, and sorting the wedding dress just tipped me over the edge.
So a year ago i knew my friend was getting married, she anted me to be the bridesmaid. Great! All i needed was a blue dress - any style, so long as it was navy blue.

The main issue is normal plus size shops only go to size 26 - i was about a 30-32 ? Im not even sure.
This left me with online options only - NOBODY does them my size.

I bought one online from lindybop.co.uk i thought it was ok but had to lose weight to fit it - i as struggling to do so due to the medical issues previously, so After months decided to find another store.

 I found http://www.eshakti.com which is AMAZING!  I ordered another dress, and a second backup one just in case. They even customise them to your measurements for $10
Only issue i had is that they don't shop to NZ, so i had to use a forwarding post from overseas (takes tie, costs money but ok)

By now we were a 4 months out from the wedding, and it took them 2 months to get here (I was in a panic). They arrived! i was so excited!  I ran to my room to put them on and .... they were HUGE! i was swimming in them. Not even a size or 2 too big, but 4-5 sizes!
Spectacular dresses, hundreds of dollars spent, and i still had no dress!!!!
I started looking locally but no luck, however i do have seeing skills, an saw an easy design, so thought i would give it a go.
Another bunch of money down the drain, and waste of week, and now im in a panic. I made the dress, well most of it, I gave up when i realized it looked more like a cross between maternity wear and a moomoo.
So my super busy week, i had literally a 24 hour period to make a dress, and it failed. I grabbed one of the smaller 'super sized' ones from eshakti trying to adapt it,  and it was just too big .
At this point its about 4 hours left of time, on a easter sunday, with shops closed. I popped a fuse and just started bawing my eyes out.
Nothing fit, and if it did fit, it looked fucking shit because i was so fat. The only shop bought dress i saw i liked the other week was black, so a no go.
Luckily for me i have awesome family - daughter noticed i seemed upset, called my husband who came into my bedroom.
In a panic he messaged y bestie who was getting married who came over and told me to not panic, i can wear the black one, we will make time to get it tomorrow or get a blue top or similar.
I appreciate these guys so much. Im still in a panic as now i have a 2 hour window to get that one dress, IF its still there tomorrow :/

Last supper, wedding stuff, and floods!

The diet was doing well unti the weekend when we travelled and had to do a funeral. The only food was crap so i ended up eating some (not lots - bare minimum).
Today i got a call from dietitian saying tomorrow is the first day in my official before-surgery diet ! So i decided that today i splurge! HOT CROSS BUNS AND PIZZA!!!

Meanwhile, outside we are flooding, tons of rains from 2 cyclones. I had to dig a trench to divert things away from the house before the storm, which worked well

I ended up having to add to it during the downpour!

Tomorrow i have eyelashes put on, then Saturday hair is done. Sunday we are out for dinner with family, monday i go away for 2 days, and next friday is my best friends wedding! Its going to be a busy week!

Paying for things ....

So i got my final paperwork in a big fat envelope! Bills all included. Since i had the day off, i decided to go in and pay them .... but then i got an idea.

I transferred all the money over to my CC which gives me airpoint rewards, then went and paid for it all.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!?!  it means that i get a free holiday after surgery using the reward points :D:D

Arg my throat hurts like a b*&#!!

So Yesterday was the day for endoscopy. I completely forgot about it because we had flooding stuff going on around the country.
My appointment was for 1:30pm and i had to have a small breakfast. So i was working, and ha looked at my phone for something and saw the missed notification for it at 1:40.

For some reason i had thought it was Thursday that it happened, not weds! So i was literally crapping myself.
The way the hospital works for these things goes like this. Bunch of people turn up for morning stuff, and a bunch for afternoon stuff.
All morning people turn up at the same time, regardless what time their thing happens, and the same for afternoon. I just happen to know this because my husband has to have cancer checks every year, so i was hopeful that i could still get in for the afternoon stuff!
Rang the hospital in a panic, and asked if it was ok to come in, she said unsure, she will get back to me after asking somebody. Meanwhile i literally was yanking shoes on while talking.
As soon as i hung up, i left, driving as fast as i could within the law. I got a call after leaving that Yes they could still do it!
I arrived at the hospital at 2:!5pm, and it was all good!

So the scope was something i had not done. The paper work said sedation, and sleeping for 2 hours before going home, then no driving for 12 hours. This seemed over the top for a 5 minute procedure.
I researched that online to see how bad it was without the sedation, and it seems its just as bad with or without, you just don't recall how bad, and then you feel like shit for 12 hours.

I decided i would go without sedation - i knew i would be gagging, and it would feel like shit, but its literally 5 minutes long! The worst part was getting it down, once its down all is weird but fine, no pain, just weird.
I almost panicked a bit going in, and the first time they went down i gagged gagged gagged and literally was unable to swallow to get the thing down. They let me rest, i was shitting myself at this point thinking i should have gone sedation.
Mental slap, determined, gave it another go, gagged gagged and was literally willing myself to swallowing, only at this point my body just automatically did its thing gagging, and then suddenly SWALLOW! WE ARE GOLD!
So maybe 60 seconds of really awful gagging shit, and then the rest was just really uncomfortable , me counting down the seconds, and then we are good.

I could hear the doctors talking, the Doctor who is doing my gastric surgery was there for it, and conferring lots.
It seems i do have some acid in stomach causing issues, but nothing too major that will stop the surgery.
Doctor had a brief conversation with me and was super happy with weight loss so far (lost 10.5kg!!!). The diabetes is controlled by diet, blood tests show thats just fine.

So day is the day after, and im glad i went without sedation - it was hard, but it was only 5 minutes. I have allowed myself a cheat day today, having fries with salt to ease my sore throat.

I won't get many more cheat days, if any. In fact this is the first full cheat day i have had in a month. Other than a single time i decided to have a cheese toasted sandwich, i have been on the ball with the diet.

I have had a lot going on elsewhere including my father-in-law dying , so i have funerals to go to, going away overnight, a sick chicken, and in all that, i managed to paint my lounge blue :D

Im going good, can't wait for best friends wedding, and surgery!

Scope on the throat!

The doctor wants to make sure i have no issues with acid reflux or ulcers, so hes sending me for an endoscope to check.

 This lucky woman gets to go do that next week on the 5th April !

On the plus side, weight loss is going well - lost 7kg (15lb or so) and coping fine.

I am debating doing the endoscope without sedative, faster and easier and likely only uncomfortable for a 5-10 mins at most.


Anyway, not much in the way of update, other than i have a heap of energy most days now , and time drags!

I GOT THE DATE!!

Friday was a pile of anticipation and a half, i got the date!!! They gave  me the 21st of April ....... The one date i can't go due to my best friends wedding :D:D

So i got another date 2 weeks later on the 5th May , however since i started the diet early, and there may potentially be a drop out in Early April, i may be able to get in on that. If not then i did 6 weeks low carb diet stuff and just lost more weight before surgery :D

I need to now drop more weight to get into a dress for the wedding, as the ones i ordered online turned up and were MASSIVE in size, like i can fit another person in them. Who ever thought somebody with 120cm+ waist could accidenrly buy to big ?

Anyway the weekend was super busy. On Saturday drove a couple hours to drop off my old LCD TV to my brother (he still had a CRT!). Caught up with my son that i had adopted out (it was open adoption but we hadnt seen each other in 8 years). and we all went over to my other sons place, who now has a baby, and made bad jokes :D
Sunday i spent 2 hours moving wood for my bestie Richelle. I needed more exercise, so this was good! Then went to the dump to empty a trailer load of stuff.

Monday i got a call from the Doctor wanting to put a scope down my throat before the surgery because i had a tummy pain and it may have been an ulcer .... they asked if i had insurance (so im guessing its an extra cost he doesnt want to do)

The waiting game, making lists, and feedback

So i posted on social medias that i was having the surgery, along with the link to the blog. The responses have been interesting
I was worried i would get people doing the whole 'You are cheating!' bullocks, not having a clue how it works.
Instead I have had a few friends come out of the woodworth saying they have had it, given me ideas, successes and fails.
Equally interesting, i am getting a lot of unsolicited advice, some of it is so factually incorrect and wrong that im literally like

For those reading, who have had the surgery, thanks for letting me ask questions. As far as the science and process goes, i know exactly whats involved. My dirty little secret is that i love to watch surgery videos on youtube. This means i know anatomy fairly well, and i know all sorts of shit you probably don't about the body. Helps that i had to learn a ton of biology when i did my Personal Training course years back :D

Things i am less sure about, and would love to hear about, are how you feel, eg head hunger vs stomach, healing time, tiredness, foods that work or dont work etc etc

Speaking of head hunger vs stomach hunger, i identifed i had head hunger tonight! it was great, i wanted to eat, craved foods, but it wasnt my stomach. I tried to wait it out, but no luck.
Eventually my daughter made me a sugar free hot chocolate using 1 Tablespoon cocoa, 2 sweeteners, and frothed milk  from coffee machine. IT WAS MAGNIFICENT! I will be adding that to my list of things to eat!
Also that got rid of the head hunger :)

I cycled to work today, energy was great! i only had 2 sachets of the protein stuff (i forget the name) today, and barely felt hunger. Leftover lasagna was for dinner (my lasagna involves a lot of veg so better option than most lasagna)
On the downside, by the time i finished work, i had a long day, i was dizzy and tired, i ended up calling for pickup instead of cycling home. Had a snooze in the afternoon :/

I can not wait until friday! Seriously, why can it not come sooner! i need to get that surgery date!!!

In the meantime, i am compiling lists of things i can eat after surgery, and setting aside any leftovers of meals that i can use (eg pumpkin soup)

Doctors Visit update

Well that went pretty much according to plan. Went into Doctors, confirmed stuff, he groped my guts for a bit, told me i had to do starvation diet for 3 weeks prior to surgery and thats it.

On friday the team will meet, and talk about me, and i will hear my surgery date!  OMG CANT WAIT!!

I did mention i had a wedding on the 21st, and not that day but any day otherwise is fine! He was going to do late may thinking i would want to splurge on wedding food! LOL NOPE! I told him as soon as possible thank you very much :D

BRING ON FRIDAY!!

On another note, im starving today .... grr @ diet! Also had a little rest for 30 mins in bed

Doctors Visit today

Since changing my diet the other week after tests, the energy level has changed dramatically! I have been not sleeping all day, and i even went for a bike ride yesterday.

Feeling super happy about that all, also i have lost about 1.5kg over the weekend. its good to have things sorted, and i know i could most definitely lose weight the natural way now the health issues are sorted. The point of the surgery is to do that faster, and not have to deal with the constant gnawing hunger.

I'm nervous and excited about what to expect from the Doctor. I am scared he may need to do things that delay the surgery, or it may land on my friends wedding day.

Oh yeah, that is something i failed to mention.  My best friend is having a wedding, and its on April 21st, this is a Friday. I happen to know that the Doctor only does the surgery on the Fridays, and so that wedding may suck for me.
The reason it will suck somewhat is one of the following
a) I may have to delay surgery if it lands on that date, i am NOT going to miss the wedding
b) I will be unable to eat the food at wedding due to pre-op diet
c) I will be unable to eat the food at wedding due to post-op diet
d) I will have changed shape and the dress will not fit me - i have contingency dress!

Sorting out the Type 2 Diabetes

Really, this is the worst time to find i had type 2 diabetes.

Worse still to realise that despite asking my local Doctor for the tests, and having the tests, they never picked that up somehow!!

So now i have an explanation for the headaches, tiredness, and other weird crap going on. I am not going crazy!

Husband had his birthday party friday night, so whilst i am now trying to edit my diet to be healthier and better, i  basically sat around copious amounts of junk food. I did manage to do really well compared to previously though.

I kept busy talking to people, drinking tea/water, and cooking things or preparing and cleaning. This was a good option, and it wasn't till the next day i realized how well i had done, compared to how well i thought i had done the night before.

Today is the morning after, we have so many leftovers.  Luckily they are all healthy options i can eat, salads, slaw, meats etc.
I skipped breakfast i think, just had cup of tea, then lunch i had a single slice of pizza the kids had cooked, and dinner was vegetables with a cheese sauce (home made, so fairly healthy vs fully cheesy).
The only real bad thing i did today was crackers and cheese earlier.

The best thing i did today was to turn down a hot rich chocolate cake fresh from the oven that my daughter made! They put ice cream and cream on that sucker in bowls also!

Today i felt hungover, despite not drinking booze last night. The head hurt, i was tired, and felt like shit. This meant little to no exercise, and a fair bit of sleeping.

Tomorrow i think I will endeavour to take the bike out

Years later .... Medical Mishap, surgeries, and fun times!

So last year i had my thyroid removed. Not because it wasn't working, but because it was enlarged and had been for years, it was getting in the way of some dry foods, and breathing during exercise.

Unfortunately after surgery i did not get the amount of synthetic thyroxine needed, and ended up sleeping or extremely tired for months, gaining tons of weight despite not eating.

After 6 months and many Drs visits, i finally got to a level i can function, and the last few months spent tweaking things so im no longer gaining weight, i can stay awake for most of the day, and function.

Unfortunately the year has left me 50kg heavier than i was. It was a fast brutal horrific weight gain. I am heavier now than i have been in my entire life. I can't exercise due to size and weight, and im at wits end.

I have decided that the weight needs to go, i have type 2 diabetes , only one kidney which will fail at the rate things are, and i need to lose it fast.

With this all in mind, i have taken out a loan to get stomach surgery , gastric sleeve to be exact.

I have done a lot of research , and have had a few friends who have had surgeries i have talked too.

One friend went to Mexico and got a cheap deal, but i notice despite having that some time ago, she generally ate a lot of junk and is still fairly chunky.
Another friend did it in NZ, and has done really well, doesn't always eat the right food, but tries her best and is doing well over all.
I knew i wanted the support, i wanted it in NZ, so have researched the best local Doctor i could find and have booked appointments.


Boy what a work up they give you! I had a bunch of home work, a day of appointments with physios, dietitians,   councillors and the rest. The cost of my surgery includes regular checkups and appointments , physio, support, and more.
I feel that i am in good hands, and will be able to get the weight off fast and safely.

I am going to try blogging about it as much as possible, for anyone interested in how it goes.