Saturday, April 29, 2017

Weigh in, 1 week to go!

Since my biggest weight (160KG), i have lost 20kg today - yaay!
Since Seeing Doctors i have lost 14kg ( i had lost 6kg struggling badly due to illness).

Here is a graph from myfitnesspal

Not gonna lie, the clothes are finally starting to feel loose!  I have lots of anxiety about the surgery, and today managed to pick up the flu also making me feel even worse :/

Unfortunately despite mega weight loss im still really fat


Sunday, April 23, 2017

1.5 weeks to go - stupid diet choices

I'm a little disappointed, i have made some stupid diet choices Not eating all day, or having shakes, then over eating at dinner.
Twice in a row now! I am too close to the surgery for this shit. Seriously, i need to sort that out :O



Sunday, April 16, 2017

I rarely cry but ....

I admit, i had a full on breakdown today.

The last couple of days had been fantasticc, getting ready for my friends wedding with eyelashes, and hair done. My only stress was i couldnt find a dress to wear that fit and looked nice.

Went out to dinner last night, and some c%#t stole my phone !!!!!! It was secure, he couldn't do shit with it due to fingerprint lock, and remotely wiped. its the hassle of having no pphone on easter weekend when nothing is open.
Despite all that, police report done, using a tablet ith a new sim and old number
migrated over, and can pick up a new phone tomorrow if i have $250 excess.

The whole thing was just another stresser on top of other things, and sorting the wedding dress just tipped me over the edge.
So a year ago i knew my friend was getting married, she anted me to be the bridesmaid. Great! All i needed was a blue dress - any style, so long as it was navy blue.

The main issue is normal plus size shops only go to size 26 - i was about a 30-32 ? Im not even sure.
This left me with online options only - NOBODY does them my size.

I bought one online from lindybop.co.uk i thought it was ok but had to lose weight to fit it - i as struggling to do so due to the medical issues previously, so After months decided to find another store.

 I found http://www.eshakti.com which is AMAZING!  I ordered another dress, and a second backup one just in case. They even customise them to your measurements for $10
Only issue i had is that they don't shop to NZ, so i had to use a forwarding post from overseas (takes tie, costs money but ok)

By now we were a 4 months out from the wedding, and it took them 2 months to get here (I was in a panic). They arrived! i was so excited!  I ran to my room to put them on and .... they were HUGE! i was swimming in them. Not even a size or 2 too big, but 4-5 sizes!
Spectacular dresses, hundreds of dollars spent, and i still had no dress!!!!
I started looking locally but no luck, however i do have seeing skills, an saw an easy design, so thought i would give it a go.
Another bunch of money down the drain, and waste of week, and now im in a panic. I made the dress, well most of it, I gave up when i realized it looked more like a cross between maternity wear and a moomoo.
So my super busy week, i had literally a 24 hour period to make a dress, and it failed. I grabbed one of the smaller 'super sized' ones from eshakti trying to adapt it,  and it was just too big .
At this point its about 4 hours left of time, on a easter sunday, with shops closed. I popped a fuse and just started bawing my eyes out.
Nothing fit, and if it did fit, it looked fucking shit because i was so fat. The only shop bought dress i saw i liked the other week was black, so a no go.
Luckily for me i have awesome family - daughter noticed i seemed upset, called my husband who came into my bedroom.
In a panic he messaged y bestie who was getting married who came over and told me to not panic, i can wear the black one, we will make time to get it tomorrow or get a blue top or similar.
I appreciate these guys so much. Im still in a panic as now i have a 2 hour window to get that one dress, IF its still there tomorrow :/

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Last supper, wedding stuff, and floods!

The diet was doing well unti the weekend when we travelled and had to do a funeral. The only food was crap so i ended up eating some (not lots - bare minimum).
Today i got a call from dietitian saying tomorrow is the first day in my official before-surgery diet ! So i decided that today i splurge! HOT CROSS BUNS AND PIZZA!!!


Meanwhile, outside we are flooding, tons of rains from 2 cyclones. I had to dig a trench to divert things away from the house before the storm, which worked well


I ended up having to add to it during the downpour!

Tomorrow i have eyelashes put on, then Saturday hair is done. Sunday we are out for dinner with family, monday i go away for 2 days, and next friday is my best friends wedding! Its going to be a busy week!

Friday, April 7, 2017

Paying for things ....

So i got my final paperwork in a big fat envelope! Bills all included. Since i had the day off, i decided to go in and pay them .... but then i got an idea.

I transferred all the money over to my CC which gives me airpoint rewards, then went and paid for it all.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!?!  it means that i get a free holiday after surgery using the reward points :D:D


Thursday, April 6, 2017

Arg my throat hurts like a b*&#!!

So Yesterday was the day for endoscopy. I completely forgot about it because we had flooding stuff going on around the country.
My appointment was for 1:30pm and i had to have a small breakfast. So i was working, and ha looked at my phone for something and saw the missed notification for it at 1:40.

For some reason i had thought it was Thursday that it happened, not weds! So i was literally crapping myself.
The way the hospital works for these things goes like this. Bunch of people turn up for morning stuff, and a bunch for afternoon stuff.
All morning people turn up at the same time, regardless what time their thing happens, and the same for afternoon. I just happen to know this because my husband has to have cancer checks every year, so i was hopeful that i could still get in for the afternoon stuff!
Rang the hospital in a panic, and asked if it was ok to come in, she said unsure, she will get back to me after asking somebody. Meanwhile i literally was yanking shoes on while talking.
As soon as i hung up, i left, driving as fast as i could within the law. I got a call after leaving that Yes they could still do it!
I arrived at the hospital at 2:!5pm, and it was all good!

So the scope was something i had not done. The paper work said sedation, and sleeping for 2 hours before going home, then no driving for 12 hours. This seemed over the top for a 5 minute procedure.
I researched that online to see how bad it was without the sedation, and it seems its just as bad with or without, you just don't recall how bad, and then you feel like shit for 12 hours.

I decided i would go without sedation - i knew i would be gagging, and it would feel like shit, but its literally 5 minutes long! The worst part was getting it down, once its down all is weird but fine, no pain, just weird.
I almost panicked a bit going in, and the first time they went down i gagged gagged gagged and literally was unable to swallow to get the thing down. They let me rest, i was shitting myself at this point thinking i should have gone sedation.
Mental slap, determined, gave it another go, gagged gagged and was literally willing myself to swallowing, only at this point my body just automatically did its thing gagging, and then suddenly SWALLOW! WE ARE GOLD!
So maybe 60 seconds of really awful gagging shit, and then the rest was just really uncomfortable , me counting down the seconds, and then we are good.

I could hear the doctors talking, the Doctor who is doing my gastric surgery was there for it, and conferring lots.
It seems i do have some acid in stomach causing issues, but nothing too major that will stop the surgery.
Doctor had a brief conversation with me and was super happy with weight loss so far (lost 10.5kg!!!). The diabetes is controlled by diet, blood tests show thats just fine.

So day is the day after, and im glad i went without sedation - it was hard, but it was only 5 minutes. I have allowed myself a cheat day today, having fries with salt to ease my sore throat.

I won't get many more cheat days, if any. In fact this is the first full cheat day i have had in a month. Other than a single time i decided to have a cheese toasted sandwich, i have been on the ball with the diet.

I have had a lot going on elsewhere including my father-in-law dying , so i have funerals to go to, going away overnight, a sick chicken, and in all that, i managed to paint my lounge blue :D

Im going good, can't wait for best friends wedding, and surgery!